Klee Protection Squad

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
spongebobssquarepants
floptina

mulan dont give a shit

jkimisyellow

mulan has run out of fucks to give

kebinu

Mulan no curr

gaymerlag

Mulan: “Gurl had it coming.”

Mulan: ” One less bitch, to worry about “

yunomaekfunwitmii

Mulan: “Who’s next?”

phillywillygasp

Mulan: “Look at all that dishonor”

l3nvi

I’M LAUGHING TO HARD AT THIS OMG

keshawnrob

MULAN NO CURR

a-long-time-ago-on-gallifrey

Mulan: Are you fucking serious Snow

Mulan: I fought in a motherfucking war

Mulan: I saved motherfucking China

Mulan: And you get taken down by a motherfucking apple

thelastmelinian

DISHONOUR ON YOU! DISHONOUR ON YOUR COW!

hayatecrawford

If one day I no longer reblog this it’s because I’m no longer in this world.

lunanilla
venuselectrificata

something that rly creeps me out…..occasionally ill see videos or articles for christians or christian missionaries that say something like “what you need to do is make friends with non christians and really get them to trust you and THEN you start preaching to them and bringing them to jesus” and that is….man how much would it hurt to know that the only reason someone’s hanging out with you is to convert you to a religion you were never interested in. maybe this is a real friend, someone you really really feel like you connect to, and all of a sudden you cant hang out with them without being scared they’ll bring out the jesus stuff.

venuselectrificata

image

charlie youre blowing my third eye WIDE open

jessicalprice

hahahaha like a year ago I tweeted “Christianity’s attitude toward Jews resembles nothing so much as the attitude of a man toward a woman who won’t fuck him” and people got SO MAD at me

thatmivy
thesmegalodon

i don’t really give a fuck about a billionaire. 400-750 people were on this boat and they’ve only found 104 survivors. the greek coast guard did not help them and the government is trying to cover it up.

rozovii
tricktster

around when I first started dating my boyfriend i bought myself this novelty blanket that looks like a photorealistic tortilla because I am SUCH A SUCKER for novelty shit. when he saw it in person for the first time his eyes lit up, which should have been a warning sign for the indignities to come.

so he’s a first responder and his day shifts start obnoxiously early as far as I, a pampered corporate asshole, am concerned. almost invariably when he’s at my place there will be an alarm at an hour that is downright unconscionable that will make him wake up and roll out of bed to get ready and will simultaneously make me burrow under the pillows grumbling about how surely nobody actually NEEDS their lives saved this early in the morning, after which I will promptly attempt to go back to sleep

he is a clever man and he knows this is when i am most vulnerable to attack.

every single time we do this dance, he quietly dresses, packs up, goes about getting ready to leave, and then when i have juuuust fallen back asleep, he returns with the tortilla blanket. He finds it no matter where I have hidden it.

He then creeps silently up to my side of the bed and uses his superior speed, strength, and reflexes to wrap me up in it incredibly tightly while i am still dazed and sputtering, so that i cannot move my legs or arms and am reduced to humiliating halfhearted magikarp flops that do not deter him from at least attempting to kiss my forehead.

then he goes to my bedroom door, opens it, then pauses, turns around, looks at me, the soft human filling of the facsimile of an enormous burrito he has just constructed, and says in his best romantic lead voice “I’ll see you soon, beans.”

you cannot understand how devastating it is to my ego that i am beans.

kittenpowerblog
wilyserpent

whenever I’m upset, I always think of this chaotically funny scene from the Birdcage and these little moments that make me cry laughing:

  • robin williams hitting his head against the fridge
  • dan futterman’s “sOuP?!
  • the rising fear in hank azaria’s voice with that accent
  • robin williams hissing at hank to shut up
  • dan’s little “yeah” as he just keeps nodding and starts chugging the bottle and robin just keeps blabbering
  • the very audible *pop* noise you hear as robin takes the bottle away from dan
  • hank’s crying and whining
  • robin telling hank to shut up again
  • the fucking *thud* and pot crashing to the floor as robin falls and says a little “oof!” (WHICH WASN’T SCRIPTED BTW HE ACTUALLY FUCKING FELL)
  • dan and hank’s looks of shock and pain as they try to hold back their laughter from robin falling
  • robin being like: “it’s okay, we’re alright, it’s fine” before going back into character and the LITTLE GAY SLAP HE DOES ON HANK’S KNEE AS HE’S GETTING BACK UP
  • the chaotic collection of just dan shaking his head looking like he’s about to cry and laugh and hank’s continued sobbing
  • ROBIN WILLIAMS’ FUCKING GIGGLE AT THE END OF THE OF FIRST “GO!”
  • hank just dropping the shrimp into the pot while he continues to sob
  • FUCK THE SHRIMP!”

guys this movie is such a barrel of laughs and so chaotic, please feel free to add on to this post, this scene and the entire movie always has me in pieces by the end of it

video